Whatever Happened to Common Courtesy?

Pop culture meditations from Jared Bentley

Published Tuesday, February 24 2009 - (6) Comments

I have begun shopping in the big stores these days, allowing that Wal-Mart might actually have good deals and prices that draw those huge throngs of people inside. I still try to shop local, and keep things on as small a level as possible, but it's hard to buy a DVD and a pork roast together. And sometimes you really need pork roasts and DVDs.

There's one thing I have noticed about the big stores that bothers me, though - something that never really happened much in the hometown grocery aisles: pushy, rude, and unsavory beings have overtaken the bodies of folks who most assuredly used to be mannerly and sweet.

Little old ladies that smile on most occasions now have their guard up, and give off a "don't look at me" vibe to rival that of Travis Bickle. Children run and scream, and parents ignore them and check out the new Guitar Hero. And no one says excuse me. Ever. No matter how many times they run into you or make you move. It's like a Ramone's concert floor, with everybody pushing for the stage.

I am far from perfect. Heck, I'm far from decent most days, and I understand many of my shortcomings. But, I hold the door open for folks, I say "excuse me" far too much, and I constantly apologize for things that may or may not be my fault. I let women go before me through doorways and in grocery lines. When I receive recognition, I always smile back, nod my head, and say "Hello" or "How are you today?". My parents taught me to show respect. To everyone.

So, while it comes as no surprise, it still disappoints me to go to Wally World or the like, turn a corner, and be forced to an abrupt stop by an older couple who decided the aisle was theirs. Or a pair of young college students shopping for their first apartment with their iPod on shuffle, impervious to everything around them. No "excuse me". No look up, no smile, no nod. Younger people are the worst - they've never said "excuse me" before anyway, so why start now?

I see the folks who greet customers at the front, and they always seem so genuine and nice - I appreciate them more and more when I go to the store, because, more than likely, they will be the only smiling faces I see during my shopping trip. It must be draining to work all day trying to improve someone's mood as they enter your store, and having a large number of the people coming through the door ignore you or give you the "big store brush-off". Or even worse, to acknowledge you and then give you the cold shoulder.

What is it about the big box store that makes people less friendly? Are they nervous about all the people? Is the huge amount of buying options too much to take? Is it all the light? All the "deals"?

Whatever it is, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of people not knowing that they should say "excuse me" when they want you to move over. I'm tired of seeing people jump lines, push past older folks, or steal parking spots without so much as simple "sorry". I'm sick of never hearing "thank you" from clerks or customers.

I want a smiling face, and a friendly atmosphere. I want local produce and good deals. I want the small-town grocery store, and I want it now.

If I can buy DVDs and tires there.

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That's very sad to hear that the crabby person plague has invaded our friendly NE TN region. I have been living in MN for the last two years and I've never encountered people who find it so hard to be nice. I have always taken pride in our expression of "Southern Hospitality." I am only 25 and make it a point to have manners not because my parents taught me to(which they did),but because it is the right thing to do. However, I find it helpful to call people out on their rudeness. The look on their faces are priceless. It is just way to easy to be polite. My husband's tour with the Army is almost over here in the Twin Cities and our next assignment to Nashville will be a welcomed change. I'm commited to being courteous to others and can only hope it will get passed on.

Amber Perry | 3/2/2009 - 5:34 PM - ( Comment

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I too, hate the fact that people seem to lose their minds in Wally World and other large stores. I am always so amazed at the fact that people seem to think that when they are shopping they are the only ones that matter or are the only personin a five mile radius of them an the tiem they want. I still smile and say hello, get out of the way of my elders to let them pass, and make it a habit of thanking military veterans that I see in stores, restaurants, etc. I, being female, hold doors for people, and am totally amazed when a young teenage boy holds the door for me because that seems to be a rare thing, manners in a teenager. We all have faults but if we tried being a little nicer to just one person a day, then it wouldn't make you want to scream every time you leave your home and go into a public place of any kind and deal with the rudeness and uncaring attitudes of society at large.

Lola J | 3/2/2009 - 8:45 AM - ( Comment

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Jared, maybe Dick Cheney should get a job as a Wal Mart greeter. He could say, "Go f#@$ yourself" to everyone that walks in.

Phil Davis | 3/1/2009 - 2:48 PM - ( Comment

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Thats why I love 3rd shift. On my days off I shop at 3 in the morning, when the only thing you hve to look out for is the old guy on the floor scrubber.

Chuck Riley | 2/26/2009 - 7:15 PM - ( Comment

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Amen. Wal-Mart stresses me out. If I'm not getting knocked down by someones unsupervised kids I'm getting blocked by a family reunion in the canned fruit aisle. What happened to courtesy?

M T | 2/26/2009 - 11:44 AM - ( Comment

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Jared, while I share your concerns, you would reach many more readers if you'd keep your comments to just a headline followed by a picture of a celebrity diet-gone-horribly-wrong, and a coupon for Reese's Cups Super size. Thanks.

Diffident Dissident | 2/24/2009 - 5:19 PM - ( Comment

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