Kingsport Times News Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Sports

Here's how tonight prep football games will play out in NE Tenn., SW Va.

September 3rd, 2010 4:34 am by MAJOR AMOS HOOPLE

   As always, the Hoople System got off to a roaring start last week. It was gratifying to kick off the football season with an .810 percentile on high school predictions, especially when most of the area schools were playing unfamiliar teams. Applying horse sense was certainly beneficial. Har-rumph!

   Two games — Richlands over Gate City and John Battle over Twin Springs — threw the Hoople-o-meter for a loop. It was exasperating. Some misformation on the teams was a negative and a hand injury Yours Truly suffered had to be the clincher.

   You see, Hoop-Baby did those picks right-handed despite having an awkward bandage on two vital typing fingers.  We’re trying a new concept this week. The entire forecast was done left-handed. That’s correct. Only my left hand touched the word processor keyboard in recording the prognostications. It takes quite an optimist to attempt gridiron fortune-telling in such a m a n n e r.

   Actually, the Old   Boy Himself is ambidextrous, which should be a plus. The dudes at the E-Z Snooze Hotel think it’s called amphibious. Heh-heh!

   The daring project is being dedicated to all left-handed readers around the region. Kaff-kaff!  

   Since last season, your favorite pigskin prophet has attended more than a dozen seminars on numerology.

   Don’t be surprised if Hoop-the-Scoop resorts to evaluating coaches’ names, street addresses and telephone and bank account numbers to get the most favorable results the rest of the season.

   Enough said. Without further ado, let’s get on with the big show.

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