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Hoople system reveals this week's gridiron victors

September 11th, 2008 12:00 am by Major Amos Hoople

Hoople system reveals this week's gridiron victors




Watch timesnews.net tonight. Scores of the games will be posted as soon as they are reported to the newsroom.



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Har-rumph! In view of the fact last week’s 32-2 performance elevated the season percentage to a sparkling .809, it’s quite clear Yours Truly has become an inspirational role model for upstart forecasters everywhere.


Um-yes, what a great week it was and there appears to be no letup in sight. The Hoople staff is well versed on the Northeast Tennessee-Southwest Virginia football scene and optimistic about covering every conceivable detail in making future predictions.


The prognosticating field is highly competitive and difficult to penetrate. However, through proper planning, working smart and taking an open-minded approach to the latest trends, a promising career can be within the reach of most newcomers.


Of course, nothing should ever be assumed. To reach the pinnacle of success, it requires a composite of qualities, including strong communication skills and a comprehensive background in mathematics.


Academic achievements will be enriched over time by the experience of observation.


No stone is ever left unturned by the Hoople System when it comes to providing accurate statistics and offering tips on the forthcoming gridiron battles.


Enough babbling, let’s link up to the Scoreboard before kickoff time arrives. Hak-kaff!


D-B 21, OAK RIDGE 20 — Watch out for those blitzes and protect the quarterback, Indians. Somebody’s going to have to block those intrusive bullies from Oak Ridge. Chalk one up for the Model City over the Atomic City.


SOUTH 24, GREENEVILLE 21 — The buttonhook pass pattern is making a comeback. South will use it at appropriate times to drive those Greeneville cornerbacks and linebackers bananas.


SULLIVAN EAST 13, DAVID CROCKETT 7 — Reports have it some of Crockett’s linemen were actually looking for the scrimmage line last week. Well, this is what separates the offense from the defense and it’s neither a power line nor a dotted line. It’s an imaginary area encompassed by the neutral zone. Simply put, it’s where officials spot the ball.


CENTRAL 19, DANIEL BOONE 13 — It always hurts to lose but remember, Trailblazers, if the ball isn’t caught it’s an incomplete pass. There’s no point in arguing the situation.


MORRISTOWN WEST 31, SCIENCE HILL 21 — Listen up, Hilltoppers. When you guys gather in the huddle to get instructions for the next play, let’s have total silence and allow the quarterback to speak without interruption. It should eliminate confusion once the ball is snapped.


CLINTWOOD 36, VOLUNTEER 13 — The Falcons will be plagued by sacks, resulting in lost yardage and poor field position. When in doubt, lads, drop back 12 yards and punt that dadgum ball. Boola-boola!


LEBANON 20, GATE CITY 14 — The Blue Devils have been beset by entirely too many turnovers. Fumbles and interceptions are throwing Gate City’s offense into reverse. Kaff-kaff! This calls for another celebration in the E-Z Snooze Hotel lounge.


LEE 27, MIDDLESBORO 13 — Mr. Hoop is going to share a bit of history with you. Screen star Lee Majors once played football for Middlesboro. His name at the time was Harvey Lee Yeary and he changed it because he admired University of Tennessee’s All-America tailback, Johnny Majors. Lee Majors portrayed Colonel Steve Austin, an ex-astronaut with bionic limbs, in the 1973 movie — “The Six Million Dollar Man,’’ which was turned into a weekly series. Middlesboro would need Colonel Austin to beat the Lee Generals this year. Heh-heh!


APPALACHIA 20, RYE COVE 7 — The Eagles should be on the lookout for trickery at the start of every Appalachia series. Reverses, lost-in-the-grass plays, draws and fake punts. Just name it — Appy has a bagful of tricks.


TENN. HIGH 28, VA. HIGH 14 — Please be advised, Bearcats, that a sweep has nothing to do with fetching a broom to clean the field. It’s a matter of sending a ball carrier around one end. Um-glumph!


COEBURN 12, J.J. KELLY 7 — The most effective way to fake Kelly’s hard-charging defenders out of their socks is to loft screen passes over their heads.


Enjoy the Hoopla!


OTHERS


Northeast Tennessee


Chuckey-Doak 8, Cloudland 7


Walker Valley 32, Cocke County 14


Oneida 21, Cumberland Gap 7


Gatlinburg-Pittman 35, Pigeon Forge 7


North Greene 20, Hancock County 6


Morristown East 19, Jefferson County 14


Cosby 21, Kings Academy 6


Sevier County 27, Knox West 13


South Greene 14, Grainger County 6


West Greene 7, Unaka 6


Hampton 14, Unicoi County 12


Southwest Virginia


Tazewell 20, Carroll County 12


Castlewood 40, Twin Valley 7


Thomas Walker 51, Ervinton 6


Holston 12, Bland County 6


Patrick Henry 13, Honaker 12


Chilhowie 26, Pound 13


Richlands 27, Abingdon 20


John Battle 8, Twin Springs 7


George Wythe 20, Floyd County 6


Graham 28, Marion 7


Hurley 40, Burch, W. Va. 22


Glenvar 19, Rural Retreat 14



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