I agree with the general comments.

We do not know what the mother told the son. We do know that she trusted him with POA and he seemed to be taking care of her, and not his brother.

It's extremely common that a parent will request special arrangements for the primary caretaker child. It's also extremely common for parents to transfer their assets to children BEFORE they die to bypass probate costs. In fact, this is recommended practice. There is a $10,000 yearly limit on tax free gifts from parent to child, and you can bet that most smart parents take advantage of this. Transfers above this need to be declared as taxable income.

Nothing about the situation seems suspicious or unusual. Not even the brother's reaction, except it is very unusual to try bringing criminal charges rather than argue it out in probate court. Seems an abuse of the criminal system to use that to gain leverage in a family dispute.

For those of you who are elderly, if you are leaving a different amount to each child, or giving special gifts, please give that child a signed receipt indicating what you have done. You do not have to explain yourself, but doing so will avoid much misery.

Currer that was a perfect response.

It has been my observation that attorney's hate dealing with this kind of garbage. Domestic issues - especially probate issues gone awry are a nightmare.

I don't know why all the sibling rivalry issues have to bubble up and cause problems in the aftermath of a parent's death. It's so sad.

A POA does not give you the right to take someone's money and spend it on yourself. It is a legal document and gives you the responsibility for making someone else's legal/financial decisions. And yes, the ugliest stuff takes place when you combine family and money.

POAs are very dangerous documents. And many people don't realize what exactly they are signing. Some think they are just giving someone the ability to pay their bills, others actually think they are signing something for healthcare related decisions. People prey on the elderly, gain their trust, get them to sign a POA or a will and then basically rob them blind. And right now many awful people are taking advantage of this. This is a very serious and very popular form of fraud and theft.

And Michelle, with all due respect, the lawyers in these situations are NOT greedy or trying to get their share of anything. These cases are NOT typically taken on contingency and are usually taken by probate or estate planning attorneys. Abused or improperly drawn POAs can cloud title and create all sorts of legal havoc. And attorneys usually have to come in and clean up a huge mess because someone thought they knew enough to do their own legal work without getting an attorney. If you think you know what you are doing, great; but if you don't, consider paying a couple of hundred bucks to get a professional to do it for you.

The bottom line is that if you ask the state to recognize a legal relationship - be it marriage, POA, or business entity - then it takes state (or court) intervention to break it. And this means lawyers.

It happened to me, but I didn't feel it was my place to challenge mother's decision.

I moved away years ago, while my sister has been in the same town looking after mother for a long time and had her POA. I have never felt I had any given right to what mother worked so hard to accumulate, and now that she's gone I would not dare challenge her decisions. I feel a bit embarrassed for the brother feels otherwise in the same situation.

Imagine that, Getting robbed by a family member. Lol, It's a NE Tennessee tradition.

Well said, Michelle.

On top of this, you've got your greedy lawyers, pushing all of this, so they can get their share of the score.

This is nothing more than a bitter argument between this woman's children. It is sad to think what money does to people.
You always dream of working all your life so you will have something to give to your children. I guess it never crosses our minds, how evil money can make people. The one thing the mother probably never wanted to happen has happened. She trusted this paticular son to become her Poa, I'm sure she could care less, as she lay dying, what he spent the money on. It just seems the other son is bitter that the brother spent it before he could get his share. Life is short. Family is all you have. This brother seemed to be the one that was there taking care of his mother. They should just let it go. She gave him poa, he had the power to do what he wanted, and he made his choices. If this went against his mother's wishes, then that would be between she and him.