Yours Truly is writing you as a man who’s sitting at 113-25 for the season and making everybody yearn for the next list of high school predictions.
Of course, this comes with more of the brilliant commentary at no extra charge.
The football culture has always had room for humor and Mr. Hoople leads the nation in providing pregame chuckles. Heh-heh!
Faithful followers of the Hoople System enjoy getting worked up over this record-setting soothsayer’s magnificent insights.
However, some of Hoop- Baby’s comments have practically pushed a few Times-News readers over the edge.
Words can be harmful and this Old Boy has a million-dollar vocabulary to unload when the time is appropriate.
The most frequent criticism of those know-it-alls at the E-Z Snooze Hotel lounge is a general lack of understanding of give and take. They can dish it out but fail to realize there’s a lighthearted side to sports.
They’ve gigged Hoop-the- Scoop time and again about losses. However, they get a little sensitive when the shoe is on the other foot.
Famous Amos delights in sending sports nuts sympathy cards after their favorite team has been drubbed. It’s a proven fact that the stuff people hate lasts forever. Hak-kaff!
Opening whistles are blowing all around the region. Let’s get on with another series of witticisms.
BOONE 27, NORTH 13 — Boone’s wagons will get their wheels shot off coming through Orebank but it shouldn’t affect the scoreboard result. Boola-boola!
CENTRAL 19, SULLIVAN EAST 12 — Fans will proclaim their true spirit by not showing up for the game.
TENNESSEE HIGH 28, GREENEVILLE 21 — This prediction should shine the bright light of truth on Greene County’s gridiron landscape. The Bristol defense will override any brilliance Greeneville’s offense tries to deliver. THS is laying out plans for domination.
SOUTH GREENE 13, CROCKETT 6 — Look for a road map, Pioneers, because you’re headed for foreign territory. Kaff-kaff!
GATE CITY 34, APPALACHIA 20 — As hard as the Bulldogs try, they will not succeed at turning a negative into a positive. Gate City’s boys are feeling frisky.
J.I. BURTON 21, POWELL VALLEY 14 — Save those vocal cords, Viking rooters. Normal eardrums don’t need to hear your version of things. Burton is keeping its game plan under wraps.
RYE COVE 14, CASTLEWOOD 0 — When you can’t win at home or on the road, it’s time to take up checkers.
ST. PAUL 13, TWIN SPRINGS 12 — Take a deep breath and get in touch with your feelings. Don’t you just love the joyous and lively side of Friday night fever?
HARLAN 28, LEE HIGH 7 — Hopefully, the Generals can avoid ulcer-inducing performances such as this in the future. Um-glumph!
LEBANON 28, CLINTWOOD 13 — The entire Hoople staff is pulling for Clintwood but there’s only one choice in this showdown. Rival forecasters see it differently but that isn’t going to happen.
Union County 14, Cocke County 6
Chuckey-Doak 27, Cosby 20
Elizabethton 20, Asheville, N.C. 12
Gatlinburg-Pittman 14, Unicoi County 7
Johnson County 7, Hampton 6
Oakdale 32, Hancock County 12
Happy Valley 13, Cloudland 6
West Greene 8, North Greene 6
Grainger 21, Pigeon Forge 7
Big Creek, W.Va. 19, Ervinton 7
Giles 14, George Wythe 13
Holston 13, Haysi 10
Virginia High 28, Honaker 14
Patrick Henry 30, John Battle 13
Marion 14, Graham 12
Tazewell 20, Abingdon 14
Thomas Walker 21, Coeburn 13
Pound 13, Twin Valley 6