Greetings, faithful readers!
Your favorite football prognosticator is back in town and ready to break all records with bold and unerring predictions.
This former Yale running back is going to shine like gold in the 2009 season.
My arrival in the Tri-Cities was a bit late but associates gathered a large measure of scouting information from high school jamborees and we’ve been sifting through it to analyze the pecking order of the powerhouses.
It won’t take long to determine which teams are contenders and which are pretenders. Kaff-kaff!
People often wonder how Yours Truly manages to keep the staff so motivated. Well, it’s no secret that there’s no better way to inspire than through recognition. Those who work hard for the Hoople System get noticed and rewarded. Our motto is: “Never be satisfied.’’ For the record, nobody knows fanfare better than the Major.
Mr. Hoop just recovered from shoulder surgery. Doctors have promised that this Old Boy will again be able to pat myself on the back after picking those big upsets. Har-rumph!
It’s always been a policy of Hoople & Co. to stay away from gamblers. Bookies frequently snoop around the E-Z Snooze Hotel eavesdropping to pick up tips on games. We do everything possible to maintain our incomparable integrity.
It’s onward and upward for the man with the plan. Without further ado, let’s get on with a forecast everybody’s going to remember.
DOBYNS-BENNETT 28, CLINTON 21 — The Indians have something to prove after last week’s stumble at Farragut. Kaff-kaff!
CHEROKEE 19, DANIEL BOONE 13 — The trail that Boone has been blazing stops in Rogersville. Write it down, remember where you got it. Boola-boola!
SOUTH 21, GREENEVILLE 14 — The Rebels will be on a mission the rest of the season.
VOLUNTEER 13, SULLIVAN NORTH 7 — The Raiders’ double wing won’t fly in Church Hill.
ELIZABETHTON 20, SCIENCE HILL 13 — The Cyclones are going to blow up quite a storm in Johnson City. Hak-kaff!
TENN. HIGH 28, SULLIVAN EAST 12 — These mighty Vikings may have to work for it but they will continue to make life miserable for East.
SULLIVAN CENTRAL 14, VIRGINIA HIGH 13 — This is Hoop-Baby’s Four-Star Pick of the Week. Get ready for a huge celebration by the Cougars in Bristol.
POWELL VALLEY 27, LEE 14 — Pow! Pow! Pow! Powell Valley is still Powell Valley.
APPALACHIA 20, CASTLEWOOD 7 — The Bulldogs sometimes bite before they bark.
RICHLANDS 27, GATE CITY 14 — Richlands will win the game but leave the stadium nursing some bruises.
J.I. BURTON 34, RYE COVE 14 — Speed kills. Burton has plenty of it.
TWIN SPRINGS 21, JOHN BATTLE 7 — Thank goodness it isn’t Bill Battle coming to Valley Creek.
J.J. KELLY 40, THOMAS WALKER 6 — This one will be settled in the first quarter.
HOLSTON 21, ST. PAUL 7 — The Cavaliers can get a little sneaky around the goal line.