Folks, it was bound to happen sooner or later. After many years of record-breaking high school forecasts, the Hoople System hit the wall last week. A 24-8 worksheet was totally out of character.
First, there was that glitch in the banking system â€” Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. Then came an unexpected prognosticating crisis â€” much to the dismay of footballholics.
It seems four of the Hoople staffers were doing a nightclub act when they should have been scouting teams the previous week.
Our difference-by-scores system virtually collapsed. Wags in the E-Z Snooze Hotel lounge have dubbed it â€œFreddie Hoop.â€™â€™ Weâ€™re referring to it simply as â€œFrantic Friday.â€™â€™
Action had to be taken. It is the Majorâ€™s sworn duty to protect the integrity of the system. Three of the researchers were booted over the goal post; one was worth preserving.
Perhaps the entire situation shouldnâ€™t be blamed on excessive partying. One of the boys was seen leaving town in a brand-new automobile. Gambling is something Famous Amos will not tolerate.
My uncleâ€™s law firm â€” Hipple, Happle and Hoople â€” has been consulted and is clearing up that matter.
Well, itâ€™s back to the drawing board for a new way of doing things. To heck with status quo. The Old Boy Network has been abolished.
With all the cards on the Boarding House table, Yours Truly promises a newly discovered mathematical formula will generate unheard-of results. Hoop-Baby has bounce-back ability.
Itâ€™s time to roll again with a different set of wheels. Yahoo!
SULLIVAN EAST 21, NORTH 7 â€” The outcome will bring an anguished shrieking from visiting fans. End of Raider-mania. North gets Patriotized. Kaff-kaff!
DOBYNS-BENNETT 20, JEFFERSON COUNTY 13 â€” Label this game â€œSlobberknocker of the Week.â€™â€™ Both squads will deliver some punishing blows.
SULLIVAN SOUTH 28, JOHNSON COUNTY 14 â€” The Longhorns need a bit more gripsion for their cleats.
DANIEL BOONE 12, VOLUNTEER 7 â€” Endurance is essential to winning. Boone will still be around for the fourth quarter.
MORRISTOWN EAST 32, CHEROKEE 14 â€” Some teams are athletically challenged but look at life through an academic lens.
MORRISTOWN WEST 21, CROCKETT 14 â€” The Pioneers have an uncanny knack for snatching defeat from the hands of victory.
ELIZABETHTON 27, CENTRAL 13 â€” Too many bandwagoners can make the ride bumpier.
GATE CITY 30, APPALACHIA 7 â€” The compressado has become a popular hairstyle in Gate City, with the Blue Devils wearing tight-fitting helmets.
RYE COVE 14, CASTLEWOOD 12 â€” Itâ€™s going to take a farvarian performance but the War Eagles will pull it off.
TWIN SPRINGS 13, ST. PAUL 12 â€” The Titans constantly display teamsmanship. It reminds me of the good olâ€™ days at Yale.
THOMAS WALKER 20, COEBURN 19 â€” The rejuvenated Pioneers will light up the jumbotron early.
HARLAN COUNTY 7, LEE 6 â€” Harlan County has a spectator rating of 9.
GRUNDY 19, J.J. KELLY 7 â€” Ever hear of the Grundy grinder? Kelly will be put through it.
J.I. BURTON 27, POWELL VALLEY 14 â€” Catch â€˜em if you can, Vikings. Hak-kaff!
CLINTWOOD 14, LEBANON 6 â€” Lebanonâ€™s lads, instead of running outside, prefer training on a treadmill inside.
Greeneville 42, Cocke County 20
Hampton 14, Unaka 0
Gatlinburg-Pittman 20, Happy Valley 8
Sevier County 28, Science Hill 27
Tennessee High 40, Unico County 14
Cloudland 28, Tri-Cities Christian 7
Sunbright 33, Hancock County 7
Cumberland Gap 41, Chuckey-Doak 13
Tazewell 21, Abingdon 13
Virginia High 34, Chilhowie 14
Honaker 15, Haysi 7
Holston 8, Northwood 7
Patrick Henry 48, John Battle 12
Richlands 20, Graham 17
Big Creek, W. Va. 27, Hurley 6