Greetings, faithful readers!
Football is in the air and the Man with the Plan has arrived to tell it like it is.
Before we get to the specifics of opening week, let’s talk a little about the past.
Everybody dreams of success. While some reach their goals, others never do. Hoop-Baby’s efforts have been rewarded time and again. Har-rumph!
Becoming a household name as Yale’s flamboyant single-wing tailback — All-America status, it should be pointed out — was an early achievement.
Then to be honored as the nation’s top prognosticator was another flight of fancy. Not many forecasters can boast of having an .803 lifetime percentage. This Einstein brain and many years of experience enable the Major to give readers the exact scores even before the players get on the bus.
Recently, you-know-who was called in as a consultant for my uncle’s law firm — Hipple, Happle and Hoople — and it didn’t take long for this Wise Ol’ Owl to get those boys on the right track. Kaff-kaff!
Psychologists insist we have five basic built-in drives necessary for fulfillment: 1. security; 2. recognition; 3. love; 4. adventure; 5. the desire to create.
Well, the Old Boy Himself has attained each of these — not to mention a number of 80-yard drives — and through it all managed to remain humble. Kaff-kaff!
Enough babbling about personal matters. Here’s the weekly forecast as determined by that trusty crystal ball, tea leaves, a slide rule and just plain horse sense:
CHEROKEE 19, RUTLEDGE 7 — The 2007 season dawns with the Chiefs’ Big Red Band playing some happy tunes. Heh-heh!
ELIZABETHTON 27, HAPPY VALLEY 0 — The Valley isn’t going to be Happy with this result. Elizabethton is ready to do some positive things.
RICHLANDS 27, GATE CITY 12 — You’d think winning that state championship would have been satisfying but it seems the Blue Tornado has a sense of unfinished business.
J.I. BURTON 34, RYE COVE 14 — Burton coach Jimbo Adams has a pigskin pedigree that demands offensive perfection. It’s all there for the Norton squad this season. Just do it, lads!
POWELL VALLEY 21, LEE 7 — Phil Robbins is Powell Valley football. The ol’ ball coach has officially established himself as an institution.
CLINTWOOD 42, COEBURN 6 — Egad! The Green Wave stubbed its toes on occasion last year but apparently has learned from those mistakes.
APPALACHIA 19, CASTLEWOOD 12 — The Bulldogs will meet a few obstacles before pulling out a victory in the late going.
J.J. KELLY 35, TWIN SPRINGS 13 — Those Wise Guys will come out with their offense smoking. Kelly has a much heavier team and you can’t repeal the laws of physics.
ST. PAUL 14, HOLSTON 6 — Hard work will pay off early for the Demon Deacons, who play-changing flexibilty at scrimmage.
PATRICK HENRY 27, POUND 13 — Um-yes, the Wildcats will have to wait a little while for their first victory.
Johnson Co. 28, Hampton 21
Unicoi Co. 14, South Greene 7
Cloudland 13, Avery Co., N.C. 12
Morristown West 47, Knox Catholic 14
Greeneville 21, Jefferson Co. 13
Ervinton 7, Hurley 0
Haysi 26, Grundy 20
Lebanon 30, Honaker 14
Abingdon 35, John Battle 12
Cumberland Gap 28, Thomas Walker 7