“Mothers spend (about) 30 hours a week doing things for their
families aside from their career, which means women are burned out,”
says Bonnie Eaker Weill, Ph.D., author of “Make Up, Don’t Break
Up.”Instead of picking up the standard flowers and card, be creative
this year and surprise her with a gift that celebrates all she does.
“The best gift choices are things that a woman would feel ‘guilty’
buying for herself,” says Amy Belkin, a personal shopper with her own
gift-selecting business. “But women just want to be appreciated, so a
gift that shows thought is always well-received.”
With the help of Eaker Weill and Belkin, we’ve taken old traditional
gifts and reinvented them with gift ideas that suit today’s moms (some
are even free!). They can also work for the other special women in your
Tip: Moms also have to be more vocal about what they want. So if you’re reading this Mom, send it to your significant other.
NEW: A NEW TRADITION
Face it, a family activity is going to be more engaging than fleeting
blossoms. Skip the bouquet of roses and head out to the garden center
to browse for blooms — then plant them in your yard as a family. Or buy a
guide to area hikes for an outdoor-loving mom and try a new trail each
May. Everyone will enjoy spotting the flowers along the walk — you can
even make a game of it or keep a yearly list.
“Rituals create memories that keep a family connected,” Eaker Weill
says. The tradition should hone in on something Mom will love and that
everyone can enjoy. Plus, it’s fun family bonding.
OLD: KID-PICKED TCHOTCHKES
NEW: FAMILY VALUES TURNED INTO ART
The kids lovingly picked out a decoupage, heart-shaped jewelry box
for Mother’s Day last year, but it started falling apart by June. Rather
than giving gifts that simply pile up, focus on something more
meaningful. In “The Secrets of Happy Families,” Bruce Feiler writes
about the importance of having a family mission statement. He explains
that when your family knows its collective goals, you can all work
together to achieve them. He suggests having a family meeting to
brainstorm ideas, vote on them and create a mission statement you can
display in your home.
Belkin suggests taking this idea a step further and presenting the
statement as a piece of original artwork for Mother’s Day. Use these
personalized family rules as an example.
OLD: FAMILY BRUNCH
NEW: GIRLS’ BRUNCH
Unless you’re a master of French parenting, going out to eat as a
family can be stressful. You want a great meal, but you worry about the
long wait, the whining kids, the concern that no one really wants to be
there. Try booking just a date night, a Mother-Daughter bonding lunch or
a girls’ lunch for Mom and her girlfriends — the ones who get her
through some of the most difficult motherhood moments (no offense,
OLD: FULL DAY WITH MOM
NEW: LEAVE MOM ALONE
As in, let her have the house to herself all day. It’s a rare
occasion that a mother gets alone time, Eaker Weill says. Let her sleep
in. Remove yourself and the kids from the premises. Want to know what
she’s doing at home all day? Not the dishes (hint, don’t leave any).
OLD: MANI/PEDI GIFT CERTIFICATE
NEW: SPONTANEOUS ADVENTURE
Mom still deserves some pampering. Tight on money or time? Bring the
exotic locale and relaxing vibe to her, Eaker Weill says. Cue up a
reggae or steel drum playlist, serve nonalcoholic pina coladas and jerk
chicken and don your sarongs and swimsuits. Honeymoon in Hawaii? Have
your local florist make leis and plan a luau. Always wanted to travel to
Paris? Bring on the pan au chocolate and play some Edith Piaf.
Everyone in the family must have some good old silly, family fun. Get
creative and make her an invitation that will keep her guessing until
the Sunday holiday. When the trip is over, send her out for some
relaxing time to herself.
OLD: STORE-BOUGHT CARD
NEW: CARD WITH HAND-WRITTEN SENTIMENT
Sometimes, a well thought-out card is gift enough. Both Belkin and
Eaker Weill insist this personal touch should not be overlooked. Write a
meaningful note and get the kids to make their own cards.
If your kids are still in the pre-writing phase, a spontaneous
(albeit planned), “Mommy, I love you more than ice cream!” can give a
mother the energy to make it through the week when she encounters tough
meetings in the office and spilled cranberry juice on the living room
rug. It also teaches kids the importance of appreciation. Because most
of all, a mom wants to be appreciated.